High-Grade Living: Aligning with Simplicity in a Complex Season

Discover the art of letting go, embracing balance, and living in alignment with your highest self through timeless Zen philosophy.

I wanted to share in this Letter some philosophy that can help you get really aligned at a tricky and complex and often overwhelming time of the year.

Below you’l find two excerpts from my book High Grade Living and two bonus exercises. High Grade Living is a book that will make for a delightful and thoughtful Christmas gift for someone special…you can grab your copy HERE. Also coming days I am going to create a consciously focussed gift guide for you. I’m not a huge fan of consumerism for the sake of it, and so will be creating a list of things that I know you can give with heart and confidence around the ethics of your gift should you need to give one. Stay tuned!

HIGH GRADE LIVING AND EMBRACING SIMPLICITY

High-grade living is the term we have created to explain this process, living in alignment with our higher selves. When we refer to high-grade paper or a high-grade textile, we understand that it means refinement, bringing the best to the world. It’s as much about saying no to certain things as it is about saying yes. We can take the same approach to ourselves through high-grade living, removing anything that does not align with our true selves and inviting in the things that do. ‘High grade’ doesn’t mean a ladder-style system, where we climb the ranks of our minds and consciousness. It’s simply about you discovering and embracing what is you, and letting go of what is not.

As one ancient Zen story goes, a student went to his meditation teacher and said, ‘My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I’m constantly falling asleep. It’s just horrible!’

‘It will pass,’ the teacher said matter-of-factly.

A week later, the student came back to his teacher. ‘My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It’s just wonderful!’

‘It will pass,’ the teacher replied matter-of-factly.

We can frequently get attached to a ‘good’ experience in meditation, and then get frustrated when we can’t achieve that experience again. We can try to figure out why, but there’s rarelya clear answer. Part of a meditation practice is working with the mystery and continuing to get in the chair no matter what the last sitting was like. It all evens out over time.

There is a Japanese concept known as mushotoku, which means acting without interest in personal gain and giving without expecting anything in return. Simply being present is all that’s required. It certainly goes against the prevailing modern Western thought, which fixates on constant acquisition and gain. The idea that we can give without needing a reward is one of the key principles of Zen and can really challenge a Western mind.

Mushotoku breeds freedom and happiness; you cannot lose what you have gained because there is nothing to lose or gain. The mushotoku mindset removes the anxiety that comes with want and replaces it with peace. It is important to note that mushotoku is not about removing yourself from the world. It is about lack of attachment on a mental level and is a very sincere practice that enhances meditation.

EMPTY OUT

The Japanese concept of kyo-jitsu explains that when something is too full, something else has to empty. It’s a term frequently used in energetics (ki), macrobiotics and health.

In the Western world, it’s common for us to just concentrate on filling, acquiring more of this, more of that. Even spiritually, there is a push to become ‘more fulfilled’. This attitude comes at a cost, as it can create a drain on something else.

The key is balance, and this applies to design too. Some wonderful examples can be found in temples and their use of negative space. One area might be very detailed and full, and an opposing area spacious and serene.

Balance doesn’t mean you must even out all aspects of your life so you’re putting the same amount of energy into everything, and this applies to your home as well. It’s more about carving out a little more here, and filling a touch more there, sometimes on a dramatic scale. Where can you live at a fast pace, and where can you slow down? Where can you create space and breadth, and where can you overflow a little? What can you absorb, and what can you resist?

EXERCISES

To help bring about even more clarity for you ; an ‘Exercise for High Grade Living, Refining Your Yes and No’ and ‘Exercise for Emptying Out (Kyo-Jitsu) ; Create Space to Restore Balance’

Exercise for High-Grade Living

"Refine Your Yes and No"

1. List Your Priorities
   Take a few moments to reflect on what truly aligns with your higher self. Write down 5-10 things that feel deeply aligned with your values and bring you a sense of purpose, joy, or peace.

2. Identify the Noise
   Now, make a second list of things currently in your life that feel out of alignment—obligations, habits, or commitments that drain your energy or don’t serve your higher self.

3. Refine Your Life
   For each item on your second list, ask yourself:

   • Can I let this go entirely?

   • If not, how can I minimize its impact on my time and energy?

   Begin making small changes by saying no to one thing this week and yes to one aligned priority.

4. Reflection
   At the end of the week, journal for 5 minutes about how this shift felt. Did saying no to one thing and yes to another create space or clarity?
   

   Exercise for Emptying Out (Kyo-Jitsu) "Create Space to Restore Balance"

   1. Assess Your Energy
      Pause for a moment and reflect: where in your life are you feeling “too full” or overextended? This might be in your schedule, relationships, or even your physical space.

   2. Choose One Area to Simplify
      Identify one area where you can consciously create space. This could be:

      • Clearing out a cluttered room or drawer.

      • Saying no to a new commitment.

      • Letting go of an emotional attachment to an outcome.

   3. Take Action
      Spend 20 minutes this week taking a tangible step to empty out that space. For example:

      • Remove five items you no longer need from your home.

      • Dedicate an afternoon to rest instead of saying yes to another obligation.

      • Sit quietly in meditation, letting go of mental “clutter” by observing your breath.

   4. Observe the Balance
      Reflect on how creating this space felt. What shifted for you? Did opening space in one area create room for energy or focus to flow elsewhere?